Hide and Seek: The RED INK Edition

Running and running, hiding and seeking.  Oh, the childhood memories…

Up and down our family’s street, my cousins and I ran and ran, hid and sought.  It wasn’t a very long street; in fact, it was a dead end.  But it was a years-long road full of fun and family, many hours of which were spent playing hide and seek.   

It was usually an older cousin who’d be tagged or self-appointed as the seeker.  I was usually fine with being a hider.  Already plotting game strategy, we would gather at the crest of the street.  The older cousin would turn his back to us, cover his eyes and begin to shout, “Oooone, twoooo, threeeee…”   Even over the heavy beats of our hearts, we could hear his “Foooour…” grow faint as we tore down the hill.  By the time that he reached the count of ten, by the time that we heard, “Ready or not, here I come!” we would have found the most unexpected places to hide.  We would crouch low and keep quiet like cats behind shrubs or cars. Or like concrete birdbaths, we would stand still and erect behind houses.  Waiting to be found, but desperately hoping not to be, each of us thought, “He’ll never find me here!”     

Hide and seek.  I loved it.  Especially when we played at night, when but for the lone street lamp, we were challenged by and covered in a shroud of darkness. 

Oh, the childhood memories…

Hide and seek.  What had been a favorite game in my youth had, over time, become my way of life.  Truth be told, I’ve played hide and seek, by myself, for most of my life.

In order not to be too much…

In order not to be misunderstood…                                                                                                                                        

I was the little girl who, in school, would never raise her hand to answer a question.  Unless the teacher called on me, I would sit quietly in my seat.        

In order not to be not enough…

In order not to be misunderstood…                                                                                                                                   

I was the woman who, at work, would never apply for positions that required me to speak publicly.  Unless my boss appointed me without request, I remained content in the background.      

And I’ve been OK with that. 

And when I first started The RED PRESSpective, I even tried to do it anonymously. 

Because I’m an introvert.  Because I’m quiet.  Because I don’t like attention. 

If I’m honest, I’ve been hiding behind my personality. 

But recently, I’ve been called out.  Not that I haven’t been called out before, but this time, the call was confrontational.  It wasn’t a suggestion; it was a summons.

You see, a couple of weeks ago, I was part of a communications mastermind facilitated by Dr. Dharius Daniels and moderated by Joseph Aaron.  Dr. Daniels spoke directly and emphatically to the introvert, to the one who doesn’t like attention, to the quiet one.  Dr. Daniels, unknowingly, spoke directly to me.  Nameless and faceless in the group of thousands, yet specifically me.  God wants you to use your words, he said.  God is waiting on you to come out.  And then Mr. Aaron followed with Genesis 3:9-10: “Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, ‘Where are you?’  So he said, ‘I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.’” (NKJV)

Ready or not, I realized, God had come for me.  I had been found.  I had been exposed.  My mind’s eye looked down.  In that moment, though I felt naked, I saw that my carefully constructed fig leaf skirt was still there, intact.  The truth of their words had ruffled it, so I ran my hand over it to smooth the leaves back down.  In that moment, I felt a metaphorical wind blow.  I shuddered as its coolness whipped across my legs.  Change was coming.

And the message was clear: I must come out from behind my fig leaves.  First, I must stop apologizing for how God wired me.  And then, I must stop allowing that wiring to keep me limited.  I cannot continue to use it as an excuse for not stepping up or stepping out.

God isn’t trying to change my personality; He’s trying to use it.  The potential for light, even a certain degree of spotlight, is uncomfortable for me, scary even.  But in order for me to do what I’ve been assigned to do, I have to come out of hiding.  I believe that God is trying to tell me that there’s something for me on the other side of my fear.  I believe that there’s someone in me that God wants to introduce me to. 

I am an introvert.  I am quiet.  I don’t like attention.  That is all true of me.  But if I’m honest, there’s a greater truth of me that I’ve been hiding from.

What about you?  What are you hiding behind?  What are your fig leaves?  What do you believe about yourself that is keeping you from God’s assignment for your life?  What is keeping you from seeing yourself the way God sees you? 

You know, it’s kind of ironic.  It depends on our perspectives, but in the game of hide and seek, there can be disappointment in discovery.  There can be a sense of victory in outwitting the seeker.  But in the gospel, there’s no outwitting Jesus.  I’m convinced that when He comes for us, there’s something dynamic that He wants to include us in.

God is calling for us to walk in greater authenticity and boldness. For me, it’s become a #redinkchallenge. I’m going to step out.  Won’t you join me?

PRINCIPLE: You are the light of the world.  A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden.  – Matthew 5:14