Mary + Ruth

“Tell your mom that she did a good job.”

Such a beautiful compliment from a perfect stranger, from this person who, unbeknownst to me, had apparently been listening to and watching my interaction with another client.  Surprised at and humbled by his observation, I spoke a soft “thank you” as he passed my desk, said nothing more, and walked out of the office.  Oh, if only he could’ve known what those words would mean to me and how the strength of them would carry me through some very weak years. 

And I did tell her.  I went to the cemetery and told her.

Within a few days of this picture (above) being taken, my mother was diagnosed with cancer.  She admonished me, “If anything happens to me, don’t you lose the faith.”

A year later, something did happen.  A piece of my heart went home to Heaven with her. 

And every Mother’s Day since then, I have spent in silent tears.  Yes, I have shed some today too, but this Mother’s Day is a little different.  Through the tears is a tribute.  And as I reflected on who she was and her significance to the people who were blessed to know her, I thought about her name and its meaning: Mary Ruth.

I don’t know if my mom’s parents, Robert and Gladys, chose her name based on its biblical relevance, but nevertheless, her nature was birthed with the name.  Mary.  “Beloved.”  Ruth.  “Friend.” 

Mary + Ruth.  Women of God.  Women of noble character.  Sacrificial.  Loyal.  Faithful. 

Mary Ruth Carter-Pressley. Woman of God. Woman of noble character. Sacrificial. Loyal. Faithful.  

My mother was a teacher.  She was called to it.  Not only as a profession, but in position.  A Titus 2 educator.  “The older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— ⁴ that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, ⁵ to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.”  Mary + Ruth.

My mom loved words, stories, lessons, people and the gospel.  And she taught me to love them too.  Those passions inspired her desire to write a book about faith, an inspirational account of learning to trust God through adversity.  Unfortunately, she didn’t live long enough to write her story.  Though it doesn’t make my loss any easier, today, I see her passing in a different perspective.  It was through her death that the Lord birthed, in me, The RED PRESSpective.  My mom had passed her pen.   

This side of heaven, I didn’t give my mother any grandchildren.  My desire is that, like God used the lineages of Mary + Ruth to birth the Savior, I honor my mom’s memory through The RED PRESSpective.  My prayer is that, because of my mom’s influence on the words, stories and lessons of The RED PRESSpective, people of the world see Jesus. 

A while back, I was in the checkout line of a grocery store in my mom’s hometown.  I noticed the woman behind me, staring at me.  After a while, she finally asked, “Whose daughter are you?”  “Mary Ruth’s,” I answered.  “I know it,” this stranger said, “because you look just like her.”  I smiled.  I can only hope to mirror the same Mary + Ruth traits of honesty, compassion, wisdom, submission and devotion. 

Many times in these last 7 years, uncertainty and grief have loosened my grip on faith.  But I am reminded that my mom did a good job.  Not only because she taught me how to press my clothes and how to carry myself, but also, and most importantly, because she taught me how to press in faith and carry my cross.  How to be strong in the struggle. As a woman, I want to demonstrate the godly virtues that my mother taught me.  The way that I was raised — the principles that were lived before me — all a part of the legacy of Light that I hope to model and pass on.  I am thankful that my mother taught me whose daughter I am — – spiritually and naturally.

Maybe you’ve lost your mother too.  Perhaps she was gone before you ever got the chance to know her.  Or maybe your mom wasn’t godly.  Perhaps she wasn’t such a good role model.  If so, I am sorry.  But your mom, like mine, lives in the best part of you.  There is a story of redemption in you.  God, through her, gave you something unique and beautiful.  Find your promise in the pain.  And then use it to propel you—and your children—and your children’s children.   

PRINCIPLE: “Her children arise up, and call her blessed: her husband also, and he praiseth her.  Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.  Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.  Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.”   Proverbs 31:28-31